Sunday, November 2, 2008

Normality…what a concept.

I am not normal, nor was I made to be
This human shell which covers, the living, breathing me
Shows whoever watches, the inner workings of
Insanity, defiantly, multiplied by love

My wishes sometimes go, beyond my crazy self
To have a normal life…friends, family, health
Would seem to be a goal, one would wish to have
To be piece of a whole, or even just a half

Of what our modern culture, deems to be okay
To open up my mouth and scream that “I am gay!”
Would that make any difference, would anybody see?
What it means, how it feels, to act-ually be me?

I tried hard to conform, to standards set before me
I sacrificed, I hid my self, ignored and cursed my feelings
And yet they never changed, if only they would have…
To not have had to tell, my family…mom…and dad

“Hey, guess what? I am gay.” And hope that they would not
Be like all the others and live as they’ve been taught
To ostracize the different, to illuminate the truth
By spotlighting the darkness, and showing them the proof

That who they are is wrong, that how they feel is sin
That in order to be loved, they just have to give in
To what the Bible “says,” no matter what it meant
At the time when it was written, before it was in print

You must obey the word, the living sword of God
Don’t look too close at what, the author’s intent was
Take it as it is, and we’ll take you as you are
As long as you don’t live it out, or take our grace too far

If grace can go too far, how can it really be...
Grace? The free gift of God, for everyone, for me?
To love without condition, to live without remorse
To not just fall in line, is to carve out my own course

And live as I was born, to be JUST AS I AM
A child of God, loved, forgiven,
To just be simply…


karen said...

To live without remorse...
That's big.
And, that's grace.

Thanks, again, for your witness.

And, your words.

Joni said...

Your words remind me of some of my own over the past several years in my journey of coming out. Many a blog held the words, "oh and guess what, I'm gay".

My thoughts are with you this morning girl and all that you will face in the near future.