is it silly?
this rule.
Is it the remains of my teenage years?
Is it outdated?
This conviction.
Or does it just serve to calm my fears?
Where will this go?
What could this be?
Could he be the one?
How will I know?
How will he know?
or is it just innocent fun?
I made a promise
I'm sticking to it
Does that mean I'm a prude?
Or could it be
a part of me
which I will save for you
the one created
just for me
I will wait til then
against temptation
against the odds
with God's strength...I shall win
MA - I wrote this right after we talked on the phone. It was written quickly...and on post-its. It's definitely not good poetry, but you were on my mind. And this is what came out.
Whatever you decide...know this: God adores you. He has wonderful, creative ideas for your life. Keep talking to him...and He'll let you know what to do.
Much love.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
4 minutes
I have four minutes before I start working. I am on my new schedule of 8:15am to 5:15pm. I get out of work a little later, and the traffic is a little worse. But not too shabby. I still get home in 25 minutes or less.
I get to double team with a couple of my new teammates this week. Double teaming is where I sit beside them and listen to them take phone calls...and hopefully learn something. There is SOOOO much to learn for this job...it's insanity. But I love learning. So, it works.
Lea comes to visit in three days! I am pretty happy about that. My mom is equally as happy. Can you believe my mom and Lea have never met? Hopefully we'll get to go to lunch together this week.
Alright, four minutes is up.
I get to double team with a couple of my new teammates this week. Double teaming is where I sit beside them and listen to them take phone calls...and hopefully learn something. There is SOOOO much to learn for this job...it's insanity. But I love learning. So, it works.
Lea comes to visit in three days! I am pretty happy about that. My mom is equally as happy. Can you believe my mom and Lea have never met? Hopefully we'll get to go to lunch together this week.
Alright, four minutes is up.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
I made it!
Well...I made it to my new team. I made it through the "situation" and I am starting fresh. WHOO-HOO!!!!! I'm a little excited. Plus, I just had some coffee. I hope I'll get a chance to get to know my new co-workers. We have "Team Time" today, so I am hoping that will help.
Today my old team is having a baby shower for Michele! It's exciting. We get to eat pizza. I love pizza. And my new team brought breakfast this morning. Yum.
It is so nice to be removed from the "situation" and not have to be reminded of it constantly. I am hoping in the next couple of weeks I will stop thinking about it completely. How awesome would that be?
By the way, in case you didn't know - God rocks. Check out this post...http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/more-jesus-less-religion/ - it's so true. It's on a website for Christian lesbians. I used to think that term was an oxymoron. Not anymore. I really hope people don't forget who I am and just think of me as "gay" now. This has always been a part of me. It was just hidden. I am still the same crazy chick who loves God and people. And I'm still here for you if you need me.
Today my old team is having a baby shower for Michele! It's exciting. We get to eat pizza. I love pizza. And my new team brought breakfast this morning. Yum.
It is so nice to be removed from the "situation" and not have to be reminded of it constantly. I am hoping in the next couple of weeks I will stop thinking about it completely. How awesome would that be?
By the way, in case you didn't know - God rocks. Check out this post...http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/more-jesus-less-religion/ - it's so true. It's on a website for Christian lesbians. I used to think that term was an oxymoron. Not anymore. I really hope people don't forget who I am and just think of me as "gay" now. This has always been a part of me. It was just hidden. I am still the same crazy chick who loves God and people. And I'm still here for you if you need me.
Monday, January 12, 2009
back to work
Today I went "title."
I'm not sure what I was expecting. Maybe the feeling of dread which I have had in the pit of my stomach would be magically gone? And all would be well?
Not so much.
It's still here. But I'm hoping it goes away with my move to the new building.
Please, go away.
I'm not sure what I was expecting. Maybe the feeling of dread which I have had in the pit of my stomach would be magically gone? And all would be well?
Not so much.
It's still here. But I'm hoping it goes away with my move to the new building.
Please, go away.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
time off
I was off work last Thursday through Monday. I went to work on Tuesday. Now I'm off until Monday. And it's not because I planned a vacation. I haven't been doing well lately. HR is working with me, thank goodness. And they have allowed me this time off without penalty. Next week I am moving to a new team in a new building. And I am very happy about that. I am hoping it will allow me to have a fresh start.
I need a fresh start.
I need a fresh start.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
getting settled
Shawn and I are "title" into our new house. Our couch gets delivered today. Whoo-hoo! I think mom and dad are going to come over tonight. Hopefully they'll bring food. We have none yet. Still need to go grocery shopping. Then again, we don't have any plates or forks, etc. Anyway - I brought Ari home last night. She was pretty scared. She hid for about an hour, then found my room. She stayed in there all night, snuggling with my legs. Then she started knocking stuff off my dresser to wake me up. Punk.
Alright - break time is almost over.
I'll post pics once we get it all coordinated.
Alright - break time is almost over.
I'll post pics once we get it all coordinated.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Moving Day
Shawn and I move into our house in TWO DAYS! Shawn's going to get as much done as he can while I'm at work on Friday. And then Saturday we have a Uhaul and will move all the big stuff. And on Sunday we'll be sorting through all the crap we have stored at mom and dad's house and hopefully...throwing a bunch of stuff out. Have I mentioned that I'm excited?
Lea is no longer moving in with us. She has decided to stay in California. Shawn and I were going to look for a third roommate, and still might have to...BUT...Shawn is going to start building computers and selling them. So, hopefully that will generate enough income to pay for a third of the rent. Yeah, that would rock for real.
Christmas has been awesome this year. There's been a lot of Rook played and lots of laughs with the family. I know they'll be sad when we move out - but they'll be coming over a lot. And they have to get their house ready to sell too. It's actually been really great living with them. I was able to save some cash (and pay my bills). But it's time to move out and move on.
Shawn and I are going to start trying churches once we get moved in. We're going to try to find somewhere that has the same theological views as we do. But...that might be difficult. Honestly, I just want to find a church family who will love me like Northside does. The Church of God and I differ on one subject, but I know I am still loved (by most people). The only thing that concerns me is how I will be accepted (or not) in a new church, not hiding my sexuality. And don't worry I'm not flaunting it either. No rainbow stickers for me right now. I am just happy to know how God made me, that He loves me, and that He has a plan for my life.
I don't really know what that plan is right now, but I am looking forward to the adventure in figuring it out. I miss teaching. I miss my young adults. I miss music. I miss leading worship. I miss Northside. And I hope they miss me.
I'll post pics of the house once we get it all in order. Ya'll know my odd sense of fashion, so it should be pretty interesting.
Oh - and I bought a vacuum. SOOOO excited about that. I left my vacuum with Connie (hers had broken) and I miss it terribly. So, I bought a Dyson! Check it out:
Ok - that's all I got for now. Love you!
Lea is no longer moving in with us. She has decided to stay in California. Shawn and I were going to look for a third roommate, and still might have to...BUT...Shawn is going to start building computers and selling them. So, hopefully that will generate enough income to pay for a third of the rent. Yeah, that would rock for real.
Christmas has been awesome this year. There's been a lot of Rook played and lots of laughs with the family. I know they'll be sad when we move out - but they'll be coming over a lot. And they have to get their house ready to sell too. It's actually been really great living with them. I was able to save some cash (and pay my bills). But it's time to move out and move on.
Shawn and I are going to start trying churches once we get moved in. We're going to try to find somewhere that has the same theological views as we do. But...that might be difficult. Honestly, I just want to find a church family who will love me like Northside does. The Church of God and I differ on one subject, but I know I am still loved (by most people). The only thing that concerns me is how I will be accepted (or not) in a new church, not hiding my sexuality. And don't worry I'm not flaunting it either. No rainbow stickers for me right now. I am just happy to know how God made me, that He loves me, and that He has a plan for my life.
I don't really know what that plan is right now, but I am looking forward to the adventure in figuring it out. I miss teaching. I miss my young adults. I miss music. I miss leading worship. I miss Northside. And I hope they miss me.
I'll post pics of the house once we get it all in order. Ya'll know my odd sense of fashion, so it should be pretty interesting.
Oh - and I bought a vacuum. SOOOO excited about that. I left my vacuum with Connie (hers had broken) and I miss it terribly. So, I bought a Dyson! Check it out:
Ok - that's all I got for now. Love you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
